{"id":18985,"date":"2018-02-28T15:36:51","date_gmt":"2018-02-28T15:36:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/watchmanmedia.org\/?p=18985"},"modified":"2018-03-04T00:12:10","modified_gmt":"2018-03-04T00:12:10","slug":"end-that-friendship","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/watchmanmedia.org\/?p=18985","title":{"rendered":"End That Friendship"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

\"\"Letter to a Would-Be Adulteress<\/h4>\n

You tell me that you\u2019re nowhere near the path of adultery. You and he are just friends. You both love the Lord and desire to walk in obedience to his word. In fact, it was your shared commitment to Jesus that connected you.<\/p>\n

As you served at the Christian conference, chatting over the course of long days and boxed lunches, your conversation was filled with Christ and a zeal for the faith. A group of you got connected on social media, so once the conference was over, moving your dialogue to the inbox was easy. And from there, text messaging made more sense. Now, months later, you\u2019re in touch every couple weeks, with an occasional phone call.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut nothing about our conversation is improper,\u201d you added quickly. \u201cWe talk about our families and ministries. We might touch on something we read in our devotions that morning. He\u2019ll even listen to thoughts about my upcoming blog posts. If anything, at the end of our calls, I\u2019m encouraged and edified in what God has called me to do.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDoes your husband listen to your thoughts about upcoming blog posts?\u201d I asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, he\u2019s got so much going on,\u201d you said. \u201cI don\u2019t mind that he doesn\u2019t have time.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat about spiritual growth?\u201d I asked. \u201cDo you and your husband share what you\u2019re learning as well?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAgain, it\u2019s just a time issue,\u201d you said. \u201cHis job is demanding.\u201d<\/p>\n

Friend, I know you\u2019ve said that the mere thought of adultery is repulsive to you, and that you could never see yourself taking that path. But it is my hope and prayer that you see the truth: you are already on the path.<\/p>\n

Sin Makes Our Heart Sick<\/h4>\n

You think you can determine the boundaries of your heart \u2014 \u201cThis far I will go and no more.\u201d And you attribute goodwill to your heart \u2014 \u201cThis is only a friendship, and an edifying one at that.\u201d<\/p>\n

But you know I love you, and I need to remind you that sin is deceitful, and your heart is susceptible. Scripture says,<\/p>\n

Take care, brothers, lest there be in any of you an evil, unbelieving heart, leading you to fall away from the living God. But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called \u201ctoday,\u201d that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. (Hebrews 3:12\u201313)<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Can we break that down? Sin is deceitful<\/em> \u2014 it leads you to believe things that are not true. Who does it deceive? You.<\/em> It would have you think that you are in control, that you can set the course of your emotions and even confine them at will. It would have you believe that your intentions are perfectly pure. Sin would tout the \u201cgood\u201d in having \u201cgodly conversations\u201d with this man, while suppressing the truth \u2014 that your heart is being drawn to him. You\u2019re taken with the time and attention he gives you. Wooed by the shared attraction to spiritual things.<\/p>\n

Sin can make the heart sick<\/em>. And not a \u201cslight fever\u201d sick, but desperately<\/em> sick. It treats nothing as sacred. It would use even your love of Christ to lure you into infidelity. While you insist you\u2019re not on the path to adultery, your feet are mired in emotional infidelity. A man who\u2019s not your husband is the one to whom you turn for support and encouragement. He\u2019s the one with whom you seem to be growing spiritually. Far from \u201cedifying,\u201d your communications with this man are leading you headlong into full-blown unfaithfulness.<\/p>\n

You cannot begin to understand all that\u2019s happening in your heart, but God knows. Ask him to search your heart, to expose every evil longing that lurks within. And then, ask for forgiveness and for strength to end this \u201cfriendship.\u201d<\/p>\n

The Flesh Is Weak<\/h4>\n

Yes, my friend \u2014 you have to end it. We cannot fully understand or control the goings-on in our hearts, but God tells us what we can<\/em> do \u2014 guard it. In his infinite wisdom, he says, \u201cWatch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life\u201d (Proverbs 4:23, NASB).<\/p>\n

Every text message heightens your interest. Every conversation engages your affections. Every sighting on social media consumes your mind. You must disentangle yourself. Put a complete end to communication. Block him on your phone and on social media.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut that\u2019s so extreme,\u201d you say. \u201cDoes it really require all that?\u201d<\/p>\n

My friend, your measures have<\/em> to be extreme. The nature of sin and the devices of the enemy require no less. The goal is your destruction. While the gift of eternal life is yours in Christ, you stand to lose your marriage and family, your ministry and witness, and so much more.<\/p>\n

Lesser measures leave the door open. You may think it\u2019s enough to decide that you simply won\u2019t reply to his text messages or answer his calls. But Jesus, knowing our makeup intimately, warned, \u201cThe spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak\u201d (Matthew 26:41). This warning was given as he spoke of temptation.<\/p>\n

We must recognize not only the weakness of our flesh, but that it bends toward evil (Romans 7:18). \u201cMake no provision\u201d for it (Romans 13:14). Practically speaking, that\u2019s tantamount to telling your flesh, \u201cNo, you won\u2019t even get the occasional gander at his Facebook page.\u201d<\/p>\n

Cling to the Savior<\/h4>\n

Being entangled in sin causes you to lose the sweet fellowship of the Savior. I know you don\u2019t want that, my friend. Whatever fellowship you are seeking in this other man, whatever need you think he fills, seek it in Jesus. He is your portion. He is your Friend<\/em>. He listens and understands, and he is able to minister to your every need \u2014 and the needs in your marriage. Cling to him<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Copyright \u00a9 2018-Originally published by\u00a0Kim Cash Tate Desiring God.org<\/a><\/span> where the featured image was sourced-All rights reserved.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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