{"id":13401,"date":"2016-02-02T23:53:17","date_gmt":"2016-02-02T23:53:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.watchmanmedia.org\/?p=13401"},"modified":"2016-08-06T16:09:41","modified_gmt":"2016-08-06T16:09:41","slug":"helping-one-another-forsake-sin-and-follow-jesus","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/watchmanmedia.org\/?p=13401","title":{"rendered":"Helping One Another Forsake Sin"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"seedprod.com-4\"The most commonly quoted (and often misunderstood) verse in churches is no longer\u00a0John 3:16\u00a0but\u00a0Matthew 7:1, \u201cJudge not.\u201d Ironically, people who routinely violate what the verse is really saying quote the verse to justify their own failure to assist other people in following Jesus. Hence, they interpret \u201cJudge not\u201d as if it were \u201cCare not\u201d and \u201cHelp not.\u201d<\/p>\n

All too often, as believers we don\u2019t realize that the greatest kindness we can offer each other is the truth. Our job is not just to help each other\u00a0feel<\/em>\u00a0good but to help each other be good. We often seem to think that our only options are to: 1) speak the truth hurtfully; or 2) say nothing in the name of grace. This is a lie.<\/p>\n

Jesus came full of grace AND truth. We should not choose between them, but do both. We are told that we should be \u201cspeaking the truth in love\u201d to each other (Ephesians 4:15). We should share the truth with humility, as an act of grace, reminding ourselves and each other that we desperately need God\u2019s grace every bit as much as do those we\u2019re offering it to.<\/p>\n

Let\u2019s say, for example, that you meet and befriend a young couple who are fairly new at your church. They are living together and say they want to follow Christ. You face a choice. Do you tell them what God says about sex outside of marriage, or do you assume it\u2019s none of your business and say nothing?<\/p>\n

I believe that when people who are living together visit our churches or small groups or homes, it\u2019s not our first job to try to correct their behavior, but instead to demonstrate the grace and truth of Jesus Christ. I don\u2019t believe we should expect Christian behavior among nonbelievers or even nominal believers.<\/p>\n

Where we should expect Christian behavior is among those who declare they are Christ\u2019s followers and identify themselves with the church, the body of Christ. In such cases, if we fail to graciously tell them God\u2019s truth about sex and marriage, and fail to assist them in making right choices, then we fail to help them fulfill their own stated goal of following Christ.<\/p>\n

So when someone says \u201cI want to follow Jesus\u201d but is living in sin, I think we should point to what Christ commands of us, and remind them that He gives the power and strength to obey Him. Scripture says that the grace of God \u201cteaches us to say \u2018No\u2019 to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age\u201d (Titus 2:12). God\u2019s grace is not only for forgiveness of sin, but empowerment to live in holiness.<\/p>\n

I was teaching the book of 1 Corinthians at a Bible college. We got into sexual purity in\u00a01 Corinthians 6:18-20. A couple in their thirties came up after this session and said, \u201cWe\u2019ve never heard this before; we\u2019ve been living together for eight years.We just came to Christ two years ago, and we\u2019re very involved in our church. Are you really saying sex outside of marriage is something Jesus doesn\u2019t want us to do?\u201d<\/p>\n

I commended them for wanting to follow Christ wholeheartedly. When we opened Scripture it was clear to them they needed to get married right away, and no longer live together until they did. But they felt confused and even betrayed that no one in their church had talked to them about this.<\/p>\n

Many years ago Nanci and I were in a home Bible study in our church. The group had been meeting three months when someone mentioned in passing that one of the couples wasn\u2019t married but was living together. I called the group leader and asked if this was true. He said yes. I asked if he had told the young man\u2014who\u2019d come to Christ at least two years earlier\u2014that this wasn\u2019t honoring to the Lord.<\/p>\n

He said he hadn\u2019t mentioned it because he didn\u2019t want to hurt them. He hoped eventually they would figure it out, but it was the group\u2019s job to love them, not judge them. I said I agreed we should love them. And when you love someone, you don\u2019t want them to sin, because sin is never in their best interests. Sin brings judgment, and we do not want those we love to fall under the judgment of God, but rather to embrace the forgiving grace He went to the cross to offer them.<\/p>\n

I explained that now that I knew about this, I would need to go to the young man and share with him the truth. The leader and another guy from the group came with me that night. We called the young man and invited ourselves over, and while his girlfriend and the baby were with one of the ladies in the group, we sat down with him in his living room. He was super nervous. It wasn\u2019t comfortable for any of us. What\u2019s right often isn\u2019t.<\/p>\n

I asked him if he knew how much we loved him and his girlfriend. He said, \u201cSure.\u201d Our group had helped them out in various ways. He knew.<\/p>\n

I told him I wanted to share some Scripture with him. Then he looked at me and said, \u201cAre you going to tell us we should get married?\u201d<\/p>\n

I said, \u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n

The words poured out from him. He said, \u201cWe really want to. We feel so bad we haven\u2019t. We\u2019re trying to read the Bible and we feel like we\u2019re just a couple of losers. When we go to church, we feel like hypocrites. But we don\u2019t have the money to have a decent wedding, and I can\u2019t afford a ring. She\u2019s so ashamed that we\u2019re not married. It\u2019s awkward because of our baby. And to be honest, I wondered if anyone was ever going to talk to us about it.\u201d<\/p>\n

Bottom line, we put our arms around this brother and challenged him to be a real man, God\u2019s man, and honor Jesus and lead his girlfriend, and make this right. He prayed and asked God\u2019s forgiveness for having sex outside of marriage. A burden was lifted from him.<\/p>\n

Together, we developed a plan for how they could move out from each other just for a few weeks until we could get them married. We laughed and hugged and this brother felt loved and incredibly relieved. Instead of being shamed, which was the leader\u2019s fear, he had his shame removed.<\/p>\n

Our small group immediately set up a wedding at our church. On short notice, the women in the group got the girlfriend a dress and everything else, and we found people at church to volunteer food and a cake. Their parents flew in from other parts of the country and everyone cried and celebrated. I had the honor of marrying this couple, and holding their precious baby in the ceremony.<\/p>\n

It was one of the most beautiful things I\u2019ve ever been part of. I cannot tell you how honored and special this couple felt. God\u2019s people had loved them by helping deliver them from the sin and guilt that entangled them, and bring them to purity and peace.<\/p>\n

The sheer joy of that young couple floods my mind when I hear people talk as if they are taking the spiritual high ground by \u201cnot laying a guilt trip on Christians who are living together.\u201d We can gently point out sin to each other without using a flame-thrower.<\/p>\n

God tells us to speak the truth in love, and if we are withholding the truth instead of speaking it, we are not being obedient or loving.<\/p>\n

If you love someone who says they want to follow Jesus, you don\u2019t ignore sin that is destroying their lives. You go to them humbly and prayerfully, and represent Jesus and help them fulfill their stated goal of honoring Christ as Lord.<\/p>\n

God calls us to bring love and grace and liberation to those whose sin is destroying them. Of course, exactly the same applies to other sins, including gossip and gluttony and slander and envy and sowing discord among brothers.
\nCopyright \u00a9 2016 Eternal Perspective<\/a><\/span> Ministries<\/p>\n

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The most commonly quoted (and often misunderstood) verse in churches is no longer\u00a0John 3:16\u00a0but\u00a0Matthew 7:1, \u201cJudge not.\u201d Ironically, people who routinely violate what the verse is really saying quote the verse to justify their own failure to assist other people in following Jesus. Hence, they interpret \u201cJudge not\u201d as if it were \u201cCare not\u201d and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":24,"featured_media":14563,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-13401","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-discipleship","8":"wp-image-borders","9":"entry"},"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/watchmanmedia.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/seedprod.com-4.jpg","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p4bgnN-3u9","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/watchmanmedia.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13401","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/watchmanmedia.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/watchmanmedia.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/watchmanmedia.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/24"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/watchmanmedia.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=13401"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/watchmanmedia.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13401\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":14635,"href":"https:\/\/watchmanmedia.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13401\/revisions\/14635"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/watchmanmedia.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/14563"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/watchmanmedia.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=13401"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/watchmanmedia.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=13401"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/watchmanmedia.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=13401"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}