As a homeschool mom of 25 years with ten kids, I am writing today to express my concern for the safety of my fellow homeschooling families, the protection of our freedom to homeschool, and my own personal reputation as a homeschooler.

Like many of you, I am both heartbroken and disturbed by the recent alleged sexual scandals involving Vision Forum and Bill Gothard’s Institute in Basic Life Principles.  I join with all those praying for the recovery of those who were affected.

As sexual abuse allegations within these ministries have attracted media attention, I am also greatly concerned about how these scandals could negatively impact all of us in the homeschool community.

Please allow me to share with you seven vulnerabilities and nine suggestions for action in light of recent developments. (Since the nightmare of sexual abuse happened to our own family, it’s an issue that’s very close to my heart.)

7 Potential Vulnerabilities of Home School Families

1.  Misperception That Our Homes and Families Are Immune

After our own 15-year-old daughter was abused by a 46-year-old man in our congregation, we ended up in a jury trial. I still cringe when I remember how the prosecution portrayed our family and Kalyn as being “naive” about these issues.

It also shook me to realize that, perhaps, in some ways he was right. We should have been aiming to be as “shrewd as serpents and innocent as doves” (Matthew 10:16, NASB). With one in four girls, and one in six boys, being sexually abused in America by the age of eighteen, it was naive to believe we were somehow immune to risk.

2.  Lack of Sexual Abuse Prevention Education

I am the first to admit that while Doug and I thought we had taken all the necessary steps to protect our family from sexual abuse, we were sadly misinformed. We were ignorant, before it happened to us, of the deceptive power of the grooming behaviors employed by abusers; and we believed that our family members—adults and kids alike—were too “smart” to be tricked.

In researching how to help our wounded daughter, we discovered important keys that we now use to protect the rest of our kids.

3. Suspicious Behaviors

When people appear to be “hiding” or “protecting” known abusers, they bring suspicion upon themselves. No one wants to ever falsely accuse someone of sexual misconduct. However, once an accusation has been validated, we must establish an environment that encourages truth-telling, if victims are to heal and others are to be protected.

If we silence or soften the truth, or  allow leaders  who have fallen into sexual sin to remain in their positions simply because they are good teachers, we contribute—either accidentally or intentionally—to the culture of grooming and lies.

4. Lax Attitudes and Systems

Mandatory reporting and sexual abuse prevention systems are the norm in schools and other institutions now, and rightly so. Because of some very public legal cases, and the increased liability of churches, schools and organizations, sexual abuse policies are much more strictly enforced nowadays.

If we, as homeschoolers, do not also deal with this issue in a similarly forthright manner, we could appear to be negligent. This could attract further attention to us in two ways:

(1) Child abusers will target our kids as easy marks, and (2) The homeschooling community will be under greater scrutiny in a way that invites regulation.

5. Public Perception

Homeschoolers are frequently viewed as a single group, implying that our community is ripe with such predators. In every article I have read on the ministries mentioned above, the media has emphasized that they are “homeschool leaders.”

In my experience, most people in education, media, government, and social services do not understand homeschoolers. Recently Michael Farris, president of HSLDA, issued a strong statement clarifying that we’re distinct individuals, and countering these misperceptions. While commenting on his recent interview in World News Daily condemning the actions of Doug Philips, Mr. Farris said on his Facebook page,

I have admitted my errors in failing to speak out….I am convinced that this [patriarchal] movement is harmful to people—children, women, and even men who buy into these deceptive ideas. The freedom of the homeschooling movement is threatened if this kind of dangerous legalism is allowed to become the dominant view. I have tried to distance myself quietly and imperfectly for a long time. I am now convinced that I need to be forthright and say out loud what I have thought for a long time….It would be easy to contend that Doug’s sin was separate from his patriarchy views. I am saying the opposite. His views of women were integral to his actions.” (April 15)

Mr. Farris’s statements are strong and clear. But, sadly, it will be hard to counter the hostile public perceptions created by these scandals.

6.   Unnoticed Actions

The alleged immoral acts within these ministries appear to have gone unchecked for years. Surely someone saw something that caused concern.  But in their “trust” of the ministry leaders, most did what is all too common: they ignored or discounted what they saw. (Or perhaps they were ill-equipped to interpret what they observed.) This is truly unfortunate. The protective systems within these ministries were either inadequate, or they simply failed.

7.  Hostility toward the Homeschool Community Is Increasing

Online responses to these stories are flying—especially by those hostile to homeschooling. Honestly, I had not paid any attention to these anti-homeschooling voices until I saw them chiming in during the aftermath of these ministry scandals. But they are very real and very vocal.

The implication that we, as homeschoolers, might need to be “watched more closely” is alarming. I do not want to dignify these comments further by providing a link, but I have seen them on several sites, and it is frightening.

The hostile momentum that’s building—driven by those who would love to stop homeschooling or deeply regulate it—could be devastating to us all.

So what can we do, in the face of these challenges?

9 Suggestions that I Believe Are Critical

1.  Pull Our Heads Out of the Sand

We can’t ignore this issue any longer. We must address it, both personally and publicly. The problem of sexual abuse crosses all segments of society. We are not statistically at greater risk; but neither are we immune. (I have heard the stories from other affected homeschool families myself!) We must be willing to understand and confront our own unique set of risks.

2. Intentionally Include Sexual Abuse Training in Our Homeschools

The best abuse prevention for children is well-informed, alert adults. Parents must make the effort to study sexual issues that are prevalent in our society and dangerous to our kids. Read our story to see how we were tricked. Then do what it takes to launch your own protective strategy.  (Click here to find resources to help.)

3. Address the Issue of Sexual Abuse with Your Homeschool Co-op/Support Group

I suggest we launch a strategic effort to educate our families. It would not be that difficult. (Click here for recommended materials.) Homeschool group meetings on this topic could prevent a great deal of pain.

At the same time, our homeschool co-ops need to review their own policies. Just as wise churches screen their own children’s and youth workers, we should also. A good system of prevention is one of the best deterrents to abuse. Let’s improve our own accountability so we are always above reproach.

4. Be Clear in Labeling Abuse as Abuse

We must call sexual abuse by its real name. Abuse is not limited to just rape or molestation. Here is an official definition from a reputable Christian book on the topic:

Sexual abuse is any contact or interaction (visual, verbal, or psychological) between a child/adolescent and an adult (or older teen) when the child/adolescent is used for the sexual stimulation of the perpetrator or another person.” (Dan Allender, The Wounded Heart: Hope for Adult Victims of Childhood Sexual Abuse)

Let’s face it: the term sexual abuse is loaded and ugly. So often people try to mislabel abuse as “inappropriate behavior” or an “indiscretion” or “immorality” to help remove its stigma.  But renaming something just confuses the issue at hand and prevents us from dealing with the reality of its dangers.

Children and youth who have been damaged by abuse—even if the abuse seems “minor” to us—will often live their lives through the lens of that experience; and frequently make poor relationship and spiritual choices as they mature. They need our help for recovery.

5.  Support Organizations Fighting To Protect Us

We believe it is vital for homeschool families to stand together in this difficult hour, as we respond wisely to policies and laws that could challenge our freedoms. We must actively support those who stand up for our families.

But while the legal teams have been wonderfully responsive to our homeschool community needs over the years, we must also recognize that they are only able to help us collectively when we choose to take personal responsibility. In other words, sometimes we need to take the initiative to police ourselves in private…..before they must represent us in public.

6. Permanently Remove from Your Group Or Sphere of Acquaintances Any Sexual Offenders

It seems like this would go without saying, but it does not. In the world’s eyes, sexual offenders are considered “non-reformable,” due to the nature of their problems.

As believers in Jesus Christ, we know that God can deliver people from very complex problems. So, often, in our efforts to show mercy to these perpetrators, we give people the benefit of the doubt. We allow them second chances. Unfortunately, this has proven disastrous in many cases.

I propose that anyone who is truly repentant and reformed of sexually abusing a child should have no problem being under accountability, limits, and supervision. They would acknowledge their own risk for relapse, and not put themselves in a position where they could be even falsely accused.

Just as wise leaders would never send a former alcoholic into bars to do ministry, former abusers should never be entrusted with children alone. (This applies to families, as well as ministries.)

7.  Pray

The battle of sexual abuse is part of the spiritual warfare being waged against this generation. Pornography has simply taken that fight to a new level. As believers, we recognize that we are not wrestling with flesh and blood here, but with powers and principalities and rulers of wickedness in high places (see Ephesians 6:12).

The battle over protecting our children, and leading them to purity amidst a perverse generation, will be won or lost on our knees. Pray for your kids. Pray for all our kids. Maintain holy alertness in accordance with Ephesians 6:18.

Intercede for your leaders. Receive from the Lord the wisdom you will need in this hour. And most importantly, please pray for the healing of families who have already been affected by abuse.

8.  Support Your Local Church Leaders

It is amazing to me when I hear church members complaining about protection policies implemented by local church leaders. Sure, I long for the “good ole days” when we didn’t have to be so careful. But those days are truly gone, and it is time we adapt.

Extra staffing and volunteers will be needed. Are we willing to sacrifice our time to serve? Our pastors and leaders deserve our support as they do their best to protect our families.

9. Pass This Letter On to a Homeschooling Friend

Together, we can take the steps necessary to protect our families…but only if enough of us are on board. Would you consider forwarding this article to 10 of your homeschooling friends?

Would you consider sharing it on your social media site, posting it on your blog (link available at www.FrontlineMoms.com) passing it on to your homeschool group? Let’s stand together as a community and continue to make homeschooling the safest option for our kids!

This article was originally written on the 2 May 28, 2014

© Copyright, 2016, FrontLine Mums and Dads

Once Deceived, Christian Culture Warrior Blasts Facebook CEO

Last week after the grisly terrorist attacks in Brussels and Pakistan, Mark Zuckerberg, the CEO and founder of Facebook, offered his solution to the problem of Islamic terrorism via his own Facebook account:

Each of these attacks was different, but all had a common thread: they were carried out with a goal to spread fear and distrust, and turn members of a community against each other.

I believe the only sustainable way to fight back against those who seek to divide us is to create a world where understanding and empathy can spread faster than hate, and where every single person in every country feels connected and cared for and loved. That’s the world we can and must build together.”

Really, Mr. Zuckerberg? Do you really believe that your ideas will work? They may sound hopeful but, can they work? No offense, but what you are proposing sounds just like the Coke commercial ideology that we baby boomers grew up singing. Back in our day we also desperately wanted to figure out how to “teach the world to sing in perfect harmony.” We earnestly desired to “furnish the world with love” while we helped them “grow honey bees and snow white turtle doves.”

Together in harmony we sang. It sold a lot of Coke and gave us goose bumps as it became a sort of rallying cry. But that’s all it did. It didn’t work. No matter how passionately we sang our songs and rallied around our favorite political reformers, peace failed. And with good reason. For standing against both the lofty platitudes and the genuine desires for world unity, global peace and how to coexist is one big giant problem: sin.

Sin: that nasty detail that keeps the whole world enslaved to depravity (Rom. 8:21). Sin is that force that that keeps mankind trapped in a universally selfish state of greed and lust and makes peaceful coexistence impossible apart from God (Gal. 5:19-21).

It may not be in vogue to talk about, but sin is exactly why all of mankind will never be able to be fixed. And that’s why, Mr. Zuckerberg, it’s not possible for every person in every country to feel “connected, cared for and loved” this side of heaven as you suggest. In fact, the direct opposite of your suggestion is the result. We can’t and won’t build this world together—at least not now.

How do we know this is true? The proof is found hidden in a biblical event that many of us may have dismissed as an odd story with little relevance to modern times: the Tower of Babel.

Please allow me to explain how this historical event has doctrinal significance in an age where Bernie Sanders has influenced young Christians with platitudes of socialistic and communistic ideologies and Obama has peddled policies of false world cooperation and international peace. For in this story is an unchangeable truth that remains today.

The Tower of Babel in Genesis 11 comes right after the account of Noah and the destruction of the world with the flood (Gen. 10). The historical sequence of the two stories is significant. In Noah’s day the world had deteriorated under the influence of sin to the point that “every inclination of the thoughts of his [man’s] heart was evil all the time” (Gen. 6:5). The flood became the doorway. It brought judgement of the world for sin, but it also brought hope that mankind could try again.

After the flood, when God allowed man to repopulate, we were given a second chance at human culture. According to Genesis 11, the whole world had one language and one speech, and it was through this commonality that the people said to themselves: “Come, let’s make bricks and bake them thoroughly. … let us build ourselves a city, with a tower that reaches to the heavens, so that we may make a name for ourselves; otherwise we will be scattered over the face of the whole earth” (Gen. 11:3-4).

On the surface that sounds like a great plan. The people were working together via a common cause instead of destroying each other. It sounds sort of like the Coke song with the world coming together in perfect harmony, does it not?  It was a Zuckerberg/Bernie style moment when mankind was seemingly sweetly building together, and yet if you look at the rest of the story you discover that God did not like (or trust) what was happening. In fact, He responded to their efforts with a strong statement and action:

“The Lord said, ‘The people are one and they have one language, and this is only the beginning of what they will do; now nothing that they propose to do will be impossible for them. Come, let us go down and there confuse their language, so that they may not understand one another’s speech.’ So the Lord scattered them abroad from there over the face of all the earth, and they stopped building the city” (Gen 11:6-8).

In my youthful days, God’s response seemed crazy. Why would He intervene to stop what could have been the utopian moment of all human history? Why would He stop the unity that we modern progressive thinkers knew would certainly solve the world’s problems?

It was only when my eyes were opened to the rest of the Bible that I discovered what God knew all along.

Collective tower building won’t achieve good things. In fact, in the days of the Tower of Babel, it would lead humankind right back into the same hopeless state that caused the flood. God knew what my human mind struggled to comprehend. He who sees into the inner heart of man knew where the sin state condition would lead again. That is why He accurately diagnosed that their unified, collective, unbridled sin would cause mankind to build a tower that reached to the heavens and yet become their object of worship. Their unbridled human “oneness” would ensnare mankind once again and bring about their own destruction.

So God stopped their plans immediately and set a boundary in place (diversified languages) that would hinder their ability to come together in that way again.

It is beyond the scope of this brief article to consider all the ramifications of that historical event. But I believe it is critical that we recognize where we are today in relationship to this God-ordained boundary, lest we fall for deceptive modern ideas that lead us to believe that in our own ability we can somehow save the world.

Collective human efforts toward world peace will not work. Not in this dispensation of human history and not until the end of the age when Jesus comes back and finishes His work of judgement on the earth which ushers in the establishment of God’s peaceful kingdom where the wolf will lay down with the lamb and true peace shall reign (Is. 11).

That is why Jesus, in His discourse about the last days, before His return in Matthew 24 clearly states,

Watch out that no one deceives you. For many will come in my name, claiming, ‘I am the Christ,’ and will deceive many. You will hear of wars and rumors of wars, but see to it that you are not alarmed. Such things must happen, but the end is still to come. Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom.”

As mature followers of Christ, we must be ready to rightly discern the false Christ (or anti-Christ) voices that will come on the earth before His return, promising a false peace apart from the Lord Jesus who is the Prince of Peace.

The closer we get to the time of Jesus’ appearing, the more mankind will rally around the false hope of self-preservation by a collective human effort and pride that refuses to bow to the King of Kings. It is the inevitable “one world system” predicted through the pages of Scripture.

Are we ready? Are we, as the church of Jesus Christ, equipped to reject the tantalizing lure Jesus warned us about in Matthew 24? How many of us—who should know better—will fall victim to the same deception of the Tower of Babel that shakes a fist in the face of God and declares “together we will build?” We will visualize world peace and in our collective mind, we will Facebook it into existence!

As a formerly deceived person, who was blinded by these same false beliefs in humankind, I have compassion on those who cannot understand. And yet, I cannot sit back and fail to sound the alarm about these deceptive ideologies that for a season entrapped me.

It is foolish and ridiculous.

Gandhi couldn’t make world peace happen, and neither can Oprah or Zuckerberg or any other do-good charismatic leader. There will be no peace without the Prince of Peace. There will be no justice without an allegiance to the Lawgiver. There will be no love without the One who is love.

As we see this clash play out before our eyes, as His Church we must stay true to our call to love people, preach the gospel, make disciples of all nations, and prepare our self for our Bridegroom, the Prince of Peace who is to come. And that, for now, is enough.

© Copyright, 2016 Charisma News

Is America a better place today than it was back in 1956?  Of course many Americans living right now couldn’t even imagine a world without cell phones, Facebook or cable television, but was life really so bad back then?  60 years ago, families would actually spend time on their front porches and people would actually have dinner with their neighbors.  60 years ago, cars were still cars, football was still football and it still meant something to be an American.

In our country today, it is considered odd to greet someone as they are walking down the street, and if someone tries to be helpful it is usually because they want something from you.  But things were very different in the middle of the last century.  Men aspired to be gentlemen and women aspired to be ladies, and nobody had ever heard of  “bling”, “sexting” or “twerking”.  Of course life was far from perfect, but people actually had standards and they tried to live up to them.

So how did it all go so wrong?

Could it be possible that life in America peaked back then and we have been in decline ever since?

Before you answer, I want to share with you a list of comparisons between life in America in 1956 and life in America in 2016…

In 1956, John Wayne, Elvis Presley and Marilyn Monroe were some of the biggest stars in the entertainment world.

In 2016, our young people look up to “stars” like Miley Cyrus, Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga.

In 1956, Americans were watching I Love Lucy and The Ed Sullivan Show on television.

In 2016, the major television networks are offering us trashy shows such as Mistresses and Lucifer.

In 1956, you could buy a first-class stamp for just 3 cents.

In 2016, a first-class stamp will cost you 49 cents.

In 1956, gum chewing and talking in class were some of the major disciplinary problems in our schools.

In 2016, many of our public schools have been equipped with metal detectors because violence has gotten so far out of control.

In 1956, children went outside and played when they got home from school.

In 2016, our parks and our playgrounds are virtually empty and we have the highest childhood obesity rate on the entire planet.

In 1956, if a kid skinned his knee he was patched up and sent back outside to play.

In 2016, if a kid skins his knee he is likely to be shipped off to the emergency room.

In 1956, “introducing solids” to a baby’s diet may have meant shoving a piece of pizza down her throat.

In 2016, we have “attachment parenting” which advocates treating children like babies almost until they reach puberty.

In 1956, seat belts and bicycle helmets were considered to be optional pieces of equipment, and car safety seats were virtually unknown.

In 2016, millions of us are afraid to leave our homes for fear that something might happen to us, and if something does happen we slap lawsuits on one another at the drop of a hat.

In 1956, many Americans regularly left their cars and the front doors of their homes unlocked.

In 2016, many Americans live with steel bars on their windows and gun sales are at all-time record highs.

In 1956, about 5 percent of all babies in America were born to unmarried parents.

In 2016, more than 40 percent of all babies in America will be born to unmarried parents.

In 1956, one income could support an entire middle class family.

In 2016, approximately one-third of all Americans don’t make enough money to even cover the basics even though both parents have entered the workforce in most households.

In 1956, redistribution of wealth was considered to be something that “the communists” did.

In 2016, the federal government systematically redistributes our wealth, and two communists are fighting for the Democratic nomination.

In 1956, there were about 2 million people living in Detroit and it was one of the greatest cities on Earth.

In 2016, there are only about 688,000 people living in Detroit and it has become a joke to the rest of the world.

In 1956, millions of Americans dreamed of moving out to sunny California.

In 2016, millions of Americans are moving out of California and never plan to go back.

In 1956, television networks would not even show husbands and wives in bed together.

In 2016, there is so much demand for pornography that there are more than 4 million adult websites on the Internet, and they get more traffic than Netflix, Amazon and Twitter combined.

In 1956, the American people had a great love for the U.S. Constitution.

In 2016, “constitutionalists” are considered to be potential terrorists by the U.S. government.

In 1956, people from all over the world wanted to come to the United States to pursue “the American Dream”.

In 2016, 48 percent of all U.S. adults under the age of 30 believe that “the American Dream is dead”.

In 1956, the United States loaned more money to the rest of the world than anybody else.

In 2016, the United States owes more money to the rest of the world than anybody else.

And there is one more thing that I would like to share with you before I wrap up this article.

This is what the New York skyline looked like on March 31st, 1956… on the left, and on the right, for those that don’t know, that is an image of the Hindu goddess of death, time and destruction known as Kali.

And next month a reproduction of the 48-foot-tall arch that stood in front of the Temple of Baal in Palmyra, Syria is going up in Times Square.

So now that you have seen what I have to share, what do you think?

Has America changed for the better, or has it changed for the worse?

© Copyright 2016 End of the American Dream

Photo courtesy: Dees.com